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I am not all that bitter and angry. I was just in a mood.

I am really into steven universe and have been watching a ton of it.
I am totally caught up so I have been rewatching episodes.

And fortunately for me, Athrylis has also started watching it and so she is now messaging me now and then to tell me what she thinks of it and this is SOOOO GOOD I LOVE IT NNNNGGHHH

Oh that reminds me, I need to message her some songs now YUP

oof its hot i should turn on the AC

I bought a couple things lately in case I wanted to make some crafts but this is crazy and delusional
I never make any crafts
I just buy things i could use to make crafts and then dont make crafts


I bought a new computer and it is exactly like my old computer except less broken
Oh and there is japanese on the keys

This is one of my favorite things about this new computer; it is a lot easier to switch between japanese and english. All I have to do is キーを押して
And then press another key to change back. This is awesome.
(it was more strenuous on my old computer)

Ummmmm what is happening now I dont remember even
Ummmmm oh I am hanging out on the computer for a few min
And then I am gonna go to the city

and im gonna run over to the train station too and see about buying shinkansen tickets in advance. Just for the heck of it.

...hmm. Maybe that is all.

Bye for now!

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Current Mood: Too warm. Blah
Current Music: Peace and Love on the Planet Earth (in my head)
08 December 2015 @ 07:26 pm
Hey! One of my students is doing a little psych/personality test for school and she wanted me to ask you guys to give her your answers! This is a traditional test so you may have seen it before, and I re-drew and re-worded it for this post (she had it drawn in her notebook). Please give your "first thought that comes to mind!" answers for these in the comments. If possible, it would also be great if you could put where you're from in your comment!
Oh, go ahead and do it, there are only four, and it's fun! Thanks~


(The only thing is, I think this is only going to be relevant in like the next 24 hours, so i might even delete this post after that, but please answer it if you have a chance right now! :D )

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Current Mood: almost being productive
Current Music: that stupid Romance song in my head
So, on Sunday my apartment was raining when I got home. Raining hot water on a sunny day!
Well it turned out that my upstairs neighbor had some problem with his onsen tap (he wasn't home) and it flooded part of his apartment, and the water escaped into the crawlspace level between our two apartments and started raining into mine .

And then some of my stuff got wet. This is mostly not a big deal.

but then, they (my landlords and associates) came into my apartment and started smashing big holes in my ceiling so the rest of the water could come out and basically my ceiling is destroyed in a lot of ways. Mostly in the way that it has a bunch of huge parts violently smashed out now.

It reminds me of earlier this year when I went to the hospital and felt trapped and couldn't go home not because of my own ilness, which was minimal, but because they had me attached to a drug IV to cure me of my illness, and when i said I wanted to go home the doctor was like naaaaah you really should stay here and finish your treatment, and i was like, whatever, fine.

So now I'm probably going to move to the downstairs apartment, which is exactly like this one but on the third floor. I want to do this, if they give me the option, because it will mean a clean and fresh start. Who doesn't want that?! The downside of course is just having to move all my stuff. So in preparation for that I should be starting to throw more stuff out and sort stuff out, but I am exhausted, EXHAUSTED, a little depressed, and they haven't 100% verified that this is happening yet.

Also, I'm making friends now with the upstairs neighbor, who is throwing himself at me out of guilt. Better than nothing? Maybe?? I don't know, I'm confused.

We are doing pumpkin carving after school today.
I don't have time for anything ELSE!
But Shimo said I could have the day off on wednesday probably which would be greeAAAAT because i haven't had a day off in more than 12 days already (and that one day I had off, which was a sat, I was out and about socializing the whole day). So, wednesday? Probably wednesday. And I will probably have the joy of using that day to start preparing my apartment for moving. Ha ha ha?


I have been listening to Arashi's new CD. Not sure how I feel about it yet but I definitely like some songs. What's weird about it is that a lot of the songs remind me of other songs, including other songs on the album, so it's hard for me to navigate mentally. It's easier if I imagine the whole thing as a musical (where that sort of thing often happens) so I'm working on that.

Current Mood: I'm tired and annoyed and my eye hurts a LOT. This is the last time i fall asleep in contacts.
Current Music: Some songs from Japonism (in my head)
19 September 2015 @ 09:23 am
you're probably wondering what happened to me and whether I'm alive

Well, too many things have happened, really, but I don't know if any of them are important exactly...

But I am alive, so that's cleared up!

Prozzak just dropped their first new single in over a decade!!!!!!!!
and guess who did the single cover art? oh that'd be me
yeah thanks ^__^

Who else? hahaha

That's all for right now, maybe I'll post something again later.



Current Mood: Smug
Current Music: Step and Go (in my head)
08 August 2015 @ 07:04 pm
So, I couldn't do the thing I wanted to do today that was crazy cause it got called off and I'll probably go on sunday evening. I HOPE.

Athrylis' cat has been sleeping with me like every night, that's nice for me, anyway...

My heart is all sleeping and broken because of realizing that Natsuki isn't interested. It makes me feel really tired but also just sad. I already talked about it a little bit last time, but the longer this week goes on the more i know it.


I went to Athrylis' JCS today. it was great! I get to go again tomorrow. Also going with her theater friends to karaoke. Should be interesting!

Current Mood: Sigh
Current Music: Love Wonderland (in my head)
20 July 2015 @ 07:38 pm
:o :o :o :o :o - - - -

Just got back from ESS debate camp 2015
And, like last year, I have one day before the other english camp starts on Wednesday.

Last year, I have the feeling that I took Tuesday off work (although I'm not 100% sure). I can't do that this year, though, because I already don't have enough vacation time left as it is and I'm gonna have to deal with it in order to get my plane flight to the US.

cry cry cry i cry

what else

Boy Natsuki (the guy i like) sent me a text last night that told me he listened to the mix cd i made him blah blah not important but we had some texting after that and it was just really nice, nice to get that message and feel reassured that we are...IDK...that he wants to talk to me. That there are still things for us to look forward.

When I talk to him face to face, it has been pretty...awkward? But also nice? Always both. And I dunno how to explain it, still, it's a feeling that I just...don't have very often. I know what part of it's about, but not all of it. And I wish, I really do wish, that I could eliminate that awkward part of it, but I can't. That's something that happens with time, maybe? I hope.

I want him to come to my apartment again and sit down this time.
Last time he couldn't sit down because I don't have any chairs. HAHAHA WHY DID I TYPE THAT
That is entirely not what I wanted to type, and it's not true.
He couldn't sit down because we were both going to get up early the next morning, so he just stayed a few minutes, he got the mix cd and gave me a little chocolate pudding, then left.

Of course, I DON'T have any chairs in my apartment, none at all, but I have a couch, a bed, and a floor, and he could certainly sit on any of them.

Current Mood: Happyish? Unreasonably hungry, all things considered.
Current Music: Zero-G in my head (wow i like this song a LOT)
04 June 2015 @ 08:37 pm
So Victoria (my grandmother) has left Kagoshima and gone to another part of Japan, then she will go to Tokyo, etc, then back to the US.

What's up? Hmmm

Things have been busy, really weird and busy in some weird sort of way.

I bought some arashi goods, mostly photos...so now I have some more interesting stuff to look at. If I ever looked at it. I can't just stare at photos constantly.

Also the long-standing-crush I told you I ended sort of...came back to life?
Or...I don't know why but it didn't get stamped into the dirt as thoroughly as I meant it to. It doesn't matter, no details, but that's running along the side of my mind at the moment, so I thought I'd include it here.

One thing that was interesting about Victoria being here is that she brought the idea of me as an artist to the forefront of my mind.

She wears her being an artist very much in the foreground, carrying paints with her, making comments about art and artists, reading up on the "what's happening in the art world" website every night...I don't do those things. I mean, heck, I do all of those things with arashi, basically, but not with art...

And yet it just sort of...somehow REMINDED me that I am an artist, and that the things she and I take for granted (viewing things artistically, discussing things artistically, making art and expecting it to be at least somewhat good) are not things everyone does.

Singing in the same way. People here in Japan appreciate my singing quite a lot, actually, but Victoria took it very seriously and commented on it a lot, which, I get that it's a grandmotherly thing to do, to dote on a granddaughter, praise her talent or what have you, but it's the seriousness with which she does it, and I watched her pass judgement on many things but she seemed very interested in my singing. So I appreciated that.

I'm interested in my own singing, I guess, it's one of my vainest points, isn't it?
obviously it is. I don't feel like there are very many things I'm actually good at.

Okay, that's the end of this.
Oh, I didn't mention about why we are so busy.

Well, ESS is having our first debate match of the year next tuesday-and-wednesday.
We're still underprepared but working hard. It's the last match for Natsuki and Matsumoto, and after that they're going to leave the club, because they're seniors and they have to dedicate the rest of their school lives to studying. That's the horror of the academic high school in Japan. It's absolutely appalling to me but there you have it. (It's very much the opposite of what my HS senior year was like)

On top of that, the school culture festival is the weekend after next. This is one of the biggest events of the entire school year, if not THE biggest event...

All of the students in the school do something to prepare for it. The senior students in Natsuki and Matsumoto's class are doing a play (Snow White) which Matsumoto and Haruto wrote the script for...and also have to help produce...on top of that, Natsuki is the class leader.

And on top of that, Matsumoto is a member of student council and student council produces the school culture festival.

And on top of THAT, the first day of the two-part Eiken test is this Sunday, and of course Matsumoto will be taking that test because he wants to pass Eiken pre-1 level. It's very difficult, I think it has a writing component, and I'm not sure that Matsumoto can pass. I asked him to pass, and he WANTS to pass, but he and I both know that he hasn't been studying for it properly, what with all this other stuff.

As for natsuki, she should be the leader of ESS, and she is also a member of broadcasting club and the leader of matsumoto and natsuki's class (which is doing the play), but recently she had a tragic loss in her family and she was out of school and school activities for about a week, meaning all of her responsibilities fell to other people--most of them to Matsumoto. Now she's back, but most of her stuff is still delegated to Matsumoto.


so when I say we've been really busy I guess I don't mean me, really, I mean matsumoto.

...I've been busy too, though. I get home late every night. And I'm also rehearsing with Maeda, a few songs for the culture festival.

I'm really looking forward to watching Snow White though, more than anything.
Anything haruto writes must be brilliant
I told him that, and he said, no, he wasn't able to write the play he wanted to write because he thought his actors couldn't handle it, so he wrote it differently to cater to the masses

This is why haruto is the best

Current Mood: Flattened
Current Music: Not Near Not Here (in my head)
Last night we performed a personal concert for the Scottish couple in their living room…which is not really a very nice thing to do to someone, but we thought they might appreciate it. I hope we were right…! We tacked it together with “taco Tuesday” [meaning i prepared yummy tacos for everyone!!!!] which was also combined with tattoo-sday, so it was Taco Tattoosday and a concert. But we didn’t even start the concert until around 10 pm. We tried to take it as seriously as possible, preparing backing tracks and instruments we would need beforehand etc etc.

It was fun. It was the first actual Ash Productions type gig we have had in a long time, and even if our audience was captive, I think they could really appreciate it.

I will have to type the set list up later cause I don’t have it now. I thought you would like to see what we performed.

We did a few songs that we have never performed in concert before EVER, so that was exciting. We also tidied up one or two things that needed tidying.

For example, the Tekken Tag song.
We decided to do it because we love Tekken Tag and because Colin said he likes it too and he even knew about the different characters and stuff, so we thought oh, we have to perform that for him, then…but then when we went to rehearse it (on the day of the concert) we were kind of embarrassed by how some of the lines didn’t even make sense. So Athrylis said, can’t we change this line so that it says something else there? So we did. And then it was like, well if we’re doing that, why don’t we change this, too? And I’ve always hated how this doesn’t scan, let’s just change it. And before you know it, we had gone through and changed probably a third of the lines in the entire song. And now it’s a much better, and less embarrassing, and BETTER…song. So that was good. And we performed it, and they liked it.

It’s good to remember that just because you created something doesn’t mean you can’t change it later. (Especially when nobody really appreciated it much in the first place)

Speaking of things that are underappreciated, one of the first songs we did in the set was WONKAVISION, so I guess…I *guess* this is the first time we ever performed WONKAVISION in concert, because…I…don’t think we had any other Ash Prod concerts after we wrote that song. Am I wrong?

It didn’t have the cello part, this time, I was playing the guitar, but it was so fun to do. That song is so FUNNY. And so good. And they don’t know how good a parody it is of Oh, Mr. Darcy, and they don’t get the references to Portland, and they aren’t nearly as familiar with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory as we are…but they STILL loved it! So that was really gratifying and nice.

And they also liked Expendable guy. Oldie but Goodie! They seemed to totally get it. And they laughed at “My my my…”

Oh, and we also did the celebrities song and the bun shakin bun song, which were both short and silly.

We covered a lot of songs too, for example BOOM! And a Bear Comes Out, and I have to say, considering that it was acapella and so underhearsed, we really did that song justice, and I think it’s going to become a staple of ash productions concerts from this point on, seriously.

Oh, and of course we did Gay Men Scottish Guys, ON REQUEST, and they were so pleased by that, pleased pleased pleased. And they were like “Our gay friend would piss himself laughing” or something like that

OH, and the big performance of the night was our debut of our newest song, which is a parody of Arashi’s “MONSTER” about Colin, who was nicknamed “Hot Cramb, Peepin’ Monster” as part of some kind of inside joke, so we (well, mostly Athrylis) wrote an entire SONG that is completely about Colin, and it’s just completely full of accurate details and inside jokes and

when it was time to sing it, we didn’t think we were gonna make it. We started laughing SO MUCH before we even hit play on the backing track…and we were laughing so hard and so hysterically that colin was already pink faced and on the verge of tears from laughing and he didn’t even know yet that the song was going to be about him. He was just laughing because we were laughing.

And then it had at least two false starts because we couldn’t get through the first two lines without laughing. In particular, “Hot Cramb!” and “Here comes the Peepin Monster!” and “He’s ridin’ his bike!!” seemed really impossible to say through laughing.

But once we got through the beginning we made it through the whole thing without melting down and it was really okay. And I think Kim made a video on her phone of the whole thing because once she realized that we were singing a whole song about Colin she was like oh, here’s one for the scrap book. I think she got at least one of the false starts on there, too. Oh man. So, that was fun.

Anyway…Athrylis must be so sad and heartbroken now, because these are the most bestest and appropriate friends that we (well, especially SHE) has had in a LONG time, and now she’s got to fly thousands of miles away from them and it feels extremely…well, unfair, basically. And now she is gonna start her life in LA. She leaves in about three days.
Yikes. Just yikes.

Okay, that’s all for now, bye bye.
Current Mood: At work and maybe i have a little headache? Okay
Current Music: Now it's the peepin monster song in my head again
15 February 2015 @ 09:26 pm
I haven't posted much lately, sorry!

I have been busy with Athrylis being here. There's always stuff to do. -__-
But I had some time today to do the online thing.
So I did and i used it for tumblr for a little bit.

Athrylis will leave in five days and then I guess I will write some (update some?) or whatever.

Okay, that's all for now, bye?

Current Mood: I have a pain in my ribs that hurts so bad
Current Music: not really anything
24 December 2014 @ 11:42 am
In a completely shocking and bizarre development, I got an email yesterday from some pop-music website to inform me that Simon Isogai and Flumpool have joined a band together.

I kept reading over the information, and looking all over the band website that it linked me to, thinking there must be some mistake, but no, this is definitely what's happening. Two of the members of Flumpool (including the lead vocalist) and Simon Isogai (on keyboards) have joined with two other guys to create a new band called The Turtles Japan (which I think was a previous project-band that is being revived anew, with Simon Isogai added to it).

I really am shocked. My interest in Simon Isogai and Flumpool are running side by side in my mind but they are completely unrelated.

I want to check out what The Turtles Japan are doing so I can properly become their fan, and then if that's all going well I will try to go to their concert in Tokyo or somewhere next April. Because what the heck.

I mean, it's--I mean, I even already saw Simon Isogai in concert, and I have been trying to figure out when I can see Flumpool, so I, like, I just...what the heck?!

Current Mood: Confused, amused, bemused, pleased?
Current Music: 36 degrees song (in my head)